...and so it begins

Yesterday evening, I sat in front of my computer debating whether I should click the post button on facebook. I wasn't sure if I really wanted to share something so personal with everyone. After much thought, I realized that maybe this part of my life would be exposed, this secret that I always kept wouldn't be such a secret anymore. But I also realized that this wasn't about keeping secrets, or bottling up the parts of my life that cause sadness. Sharing this part of my life was going to be a good thing, something that in turn, benefits my dad, other's dealing with Benson's, the audience that would be enlightened on the disease, and me too. I know that getting these feelings out will help me too. Having an outlet for this journey will be a good thing.

After the initial tears, and "what did I just do" thoughts, I sat back and waited. And almost instantaneously, my closest friends were texting me. They were proud of me, and believed in me. They told me that I was brave, and told me that I was going to change people's lives. Though this seemed extreme to me, I appreciated the validation and confidence they gave me. It helped me get through those initial fears and worries. 

From the friends who sent me long paragraphs about how proud they were, to the people who simply liked and shared my post, I want to say thank you. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't have had the confidence to continue this. Without your support and love, I wouldn't have gotten 2000 views on my blog only a mere 24 hours after that first scary post. It's incredible, and it's because of the people who believed in me!!!

Your support has inspired me. I've taken on this challenge with excitement. I feel fearless. 

Today, I got a text from my dad. This isn't a rare event, but I really hadn't heard from him much in a while. In fact, I haven't seen him in almost a month, which is unusual in itself. Without a fear, I asked him if we could spend time together tomorrow. I told him when I'd come over, what we'd do, and for the first time, I wasn't mad that he wasn't the one asking me to spend time with him. I didn't feel anger towards him for not expressing his want to see me. This time, I felt eager to reach out to him. To make plans, and to take matters into my own hands. I know that this excitement to spend time from him comes from the confidence that you all have given me through support. 

I couldn't be happier. I've always felt so alone in dealing with this. With the knowledge that so many people are interested in my journey and want to support me through it, I suddenly feel like I have a safety net behind me,  there to catch me if I fall into a difficult challenge. So thank you.