In our society, father's day is comprised of barbecues, the giving of sports of barbecue related gifts, and a celebration of all the father figures out there. Seems lively. Surprisingly, when I looked up the history of Father's Day, I found a whole new meaning—one that spoke more meaningfully to me. In 1907, Grace Golden Clayton was mourning the loss of her own father when the Monongah Mining Disaster killed 361 working men. 250 of the men were fathers, which left an estimate thousand children fatherless. With the information, on July 5th, 1908, Grace Golden Clayton proposed to his pastor a day to honor of the fathers who no longer were fathers.
Since my gaining of the knowledge of my father's disease, Father's Day has always felt superficial. I watched as my friends celebrated Father's Day in the way our whole society does: celebrating their own dads. For me, Father's Day was always more like a memorial of the somewhat fatherly figure I once had. But that figure was long gone; now it was I who cared for my dad, not the other way around.
As I read the origin of the Father's Day, I began to feel more comfortable with the idea of Father's Day. It didn't necessarily have to mockingly "celebrate" the absence of a father I do not possess (in the sense that a father is an active figure of paternity). It is okay and perfectly appropriate that Father's Day—for me and I suppose many others who's fathers are either no longer alive or are no longer fathers in the traditional sense—is simply a day to remember and honor.
Though while growing up, my dad didn't always act like a father—something I don't talk about on this blog for it is purely devoted to talking about the father I have now—I use Father's Day as a way to recall those rare times he was a traditional father. I'm sure there are many people who's father never acted like a real father, and in that case, let Father's Day be what it is to those people, I won't speak for them. But for me, and I hope for others that this may relate to, let Father's Day serve as a premise for honoring fatherhood, no matter whether it's traditional, whether it's stereotypical, or whether it's completely different (as I know sometimes Mother's or Father's day is way for people to appreciate whomever their parental figure is, regardless of gender).
On this Father's Day, I'm honoring my own father for all that he is, not what he's not. Of course I could focus on how drastically different he has always been from other fathers, and of course I could focus on how strange it is to celebrate him as a parental figure, when most of the time I find myself taking care of him. But today, I am focusing on what he is— a funny, kind, humorous, and loving man who I love and am blessed to have in my life.
Happy Father's Day to all of those in our lives that we identify as a "father"—whatever that term means to each and every one of us.
