Without delving into a part of my life not covered on this blog for a reason, I’ll say one thing. I love my dad more than I could have ever loved him if he had not developed this disease. Though Benson’s has caused us both frustration and suffering, it also has caused a time constraint, which cannot be ignored or avoided. When time is limited, we must take advantage of every moment together, and develop a special relationship, no matter the past. In my opinion, a terminable illness demands of us to let go of previous grudges—not forget them entirely, but let go—in order to make things a little easier for everyone. Ever since the day I found out he had an illness, our relationship has changed—and in my opinion, for the better. I think that once I was able to focus on the fact that we might as well make the best out of our time together, we clicked in a way we had never done before. Now, more than ever, we go out for breakfast, we take silly pictures, we dance, we laugh, and do so many other things I would have never done with him 6 years ago. As they say, for every bad thing, a good thing comes out of it. Of course, I wish my father was healthy—I wish he didn’t have to go through this awful progression. But I’m very happy with the closeness that the illness has brought upon us. I know I’ll look back and be proud of how we spent his last years together. If it weren’t for this disease, I know I would have felt so guilty, so resentful of the relationship we had growing up. In this tough time—in which he deteriorates—our fatherly-daughter relationship has blossomed, and allowed us a chance to make things right.
